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Laying down your burdens.


etru_scan

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Hi guys. Time for me to reflect on some things i've been working over in my head for literally months now, maybe longer.. As always ill try and keep it short ( and fail ), so bear with me as i finally get this into a post.

 

 

So I feel that after all this time we've reached some sort of stable 'plateau' where we're down to the last few members from what we started with (give or take a few years ) - the core, if you will. It strikes me as ironic because i've been expecting this whole thing to blow away in the dust like the sandcastle it often feels like, but yet it wont. This is, and always will be a completely amazing thing for me.

 

Im not going to propose anything drastic in case anyones afraid thats coming - i considered it, but no.. it's not the right thing to do. However I do feel that since i inherited the 'leader' mantle from Ed way back when that i am obliged to make use of it, no matter how uncomfortable i am with that designation. Its never been about leading with me, not really. I've always been much happier when there's someone whom i respect to take cues from, but all things change hey ? Im finding that more and more lately.. new daughter, my two best friends moving far away, career to grow.. all of a sudden it seems there's so much riding on my acting as a leader rather than a follower, i reckon it's time to man up and get some things sorted out - FNF Clan very much included.

 

Right now, im at a point where i need to pare down my hobbies rather than expand them. I wont bore you detailing my own personal turmoil in dealing with this, but i do need to recruit all you 'survivors' for a certain part of that. And to finally arrive at my main point, here is the question :

 

What are we going to do with FNF Clan ?

 

An age old question for sure but one which finally needs answering, for a few reasons. I have been thinking about it for so long now, i just knew i had to get it out of my head and into your collective laps.. cause i just dont feel its solely my call anymore. Sure, im going to have to be the one to make the final decision.. but it wont be made without your influences, whether you post them or not.

 

Anyways, here are the things i think are most doable...

 

1) Leave things as they are, period.

2) Same as above, but de-CS-ize the main page of the site/forums.

3) Switch to a more user-driven (joomla style) site and open content submission to the current survivors.

 

#1 - The easiest, go-with-the-flow solution. It essentially admits we're putting our corner of the net out to pasture, to pass away with a contended sigh.

 

#2 Would reflect how we've moved away from being a CS clan and are now more a community of gamers with varied interests, and may open the doors to more members, but not so likely. The forums would stay as 'the site' with not much further functionality beyond the portal and gallery ( which we dont really use anyways )

 

#3 is the most ambitions, but obviously the most forward looking and has the greatest potential to attracting new people to the 'clan'. If people think this is the best option, we can discuss what it would mean, and the ins and outs ( would we switch domains? would we keep the forums? what about all the old documents and things? )

 

 

Im personally up for this last option. I really think it could work. Its clearly more effort, but not a sick ammount, and it would be the sortof 'setup once, use forever' kindof futureproofing that would go a long ways before needing to be massively revamped.. if ever.

 

I do also think i should elaborate on the WHY of the last option, and why i think it's a good move. I think its mainly because i need to make things easier going forward. What could be easier than leaving things as they are ? well, nothing of course - but the problem is that i literally cannot stop thinking about this site, no matter how long im gone for, or what happens. I just cant. And even if the day comes that this site has to close, i'll never be able to stop thinking about what a great thing it was.

 

So really, the third option is basically a way for me to code myself out of a 'job' - to get out of the 'center' and simultaneously give us the best chance of growing into an unknowable future. Taking the easiest road, doing nothing, just isn't working for me truth be told.. Every single day i play this stupid game with myself where i wonder how the site's doing, but dont check because i dont want to admit that it has either finally died or that i have to actually DO something with her. Sorry if anyone takes offense to that or is let down by the realization that im actually a colossal dripping penis in disguise.

 

If you're wondering by now why i just dont say ' ah fuck it ! ' and close up shop, all i can say is that It just wouldn't be possible for me to put an end to it and feel anything but shame or self loathing.. Because i'd know i just up and quit on one of the best things i've ever been a part of, and that in leaving i didnt even give it my best shot.. Besides the fact that you all deserve much better than that, im through being like that in my life. Things always change - this time, this thing... for the better.

 

So.. sorry for the heaviness there.. whew!

 

Getting back to the 'options'... i listed three viable ones above but i ultimately only need one of two things to happen - To hear from you all that we are done, and if so i can be happy with that - or to build something that lets me out of my job as the only one holding the keys to the place so that we might begin to prosper again, or at least have something more than these forums to call our own. At any rate the leaving-things-be, half-dreading-half-hoping they go away is no longer an option - the albatross of indifference to my responsibilities as a co-founder of FNF needs to be addressed once and for all - For the clan, for you, for me - I cant think to put this any other way than to say i humbly ask for your help in laying down my burdens... because I'm afraid that if i wait any longer ill drop them where i stand, and never look back - i cant stomach the thought of that and i dont want to live with it on my conscience. I want us to have pride in our home again, in our community, and in each other. I want the firefight to rage on, and on.

 

 

 

So say we all !

 

 

Steve

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THE BIG POST HATH COMETH!

 

I'm with you on option #3. I'd love to give fridaynightfirefight.com a go. If you could merge the boards there and here together, that'd be sweet, but I don't think you necessarily need to de-Counter-Strike-ize anything. It's probably just extra work, and CS is where the roots of FNF were laid.

 

If you spend time to get the news submission system up and running for the yokels like me, I'll put it to regular use with stuff I find from Digg or anywhere else. (Speaking of which, if any of you use Digg lemme know - my username is 'Crilix')

 

I'm here until there's no one left to see the crap art I post. I'm sure all of us have changed our hobbies since we first came here, I don't even know if any of us regularly play CS. I, for one, have been noticing a decline in the time I spend playing any kind of video game.

 

And yet I still wear my FNF hat and jersey, and plaster those darn stickers to everything I own. And if setting up and running a news-esque site is the best way to keep the FNF flame burning, I'm there.

-Cril

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I know I never post... but I check out these forums almost everyday... wierdly enough... I have no affiliation with fnf but for some reason I am addicted to checking out the people that i looked up to for many years when i used to be a game addict. Its nice to see you posting etruscan, and I feel that everytime i go on the net I always think to myself, "I wonder what those fnfers are doing.." It is like once you are fnf, you cannot seem to get rid of it (i'm not calling myself an fnfer or anything.. because.. well.. you know.. i'm a retard).

 

I'm not going to make an decision between the 3 choices because i feel I don't have the right to because i have done nothing to support or help fnf, sadley enough.(plus i'm bad with decisions http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png) I just hope you make the right decision etruscan and everybody apart of fnf, make things right http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png, whatever that is...

 

P.S Sometimes I wonder if FNF would get live again if we all got together like old times and played something or did something we all enjoyed.. like cs... it's things like that, that make good times fun by all http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png

 

P.P.S .. sometimes i wished i knew what i was talking about http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png

 

I also feel like you cril, I never play much games anymore :S, too much other things on my plate... but I like to play a good game of ns or Jo from time to time.

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Saving Reply Slot! I just got home this evening so I'll admit I didnt read the entire post but I feel I got the general feel of it. Later tonight or tomorrow I will give it a good going over and offer up anything I may have to add.

 

Im with pepsi definately in getting some gaming going - I miss playing with you guys!! I havent played cs in gawd... feels like a year and could be even longer. Id like to hit up some bf2 and have actually considered getting back into that tournament - 21cw for those that forget.. that was a lot of fun. anyway. I'll post more after I get some food in me.. and my bottle of crown comes after that http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png

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I'm with Crilix in that the game time has declined. Between my band and the old lady, I don't really do much of anything online anymore. I think that Option #3 is a great idea, but I also think we should attempt to schedule a weekly time, just an hour or two, where we get together on the game of choice (I'm guessing it'll be either BF2 or CS) and kick it. Just like a drop-in thing, where if you make it, awesome, if not, catch ya next week. But just some time where you can come online and plan to game it up with some FNFers. Anyways, I'm drunk and tired, so I'll attempt to be more thought provoking tomorrow.
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well im for a number 3, but perhaps a modified number three.

i dont have a myspace etc...i think i have a lj which i opened a long time ago and used one time, but if they delete those after misuse then i dont have it.

however, as pepsi said above, i check this site often, few times a week at least, but dont post that often.

Perhaps some sort of rant/blog page for each member, should they choose to set one up would be a good idea.

Id like to have a place where i can write stuff that comes to mind and have friends ive known for ages read it. Just having the possibility of having someone read what I write seems to inspire me to dig deeper and really examine my thoughts etc. also the chance of all of you offering advice encourages me to write...well, write *stuff*.

Anyhow, i am not suggesting anything like myspace with pictures and all that...mostly cause i think all of the other stuff tends to distract and ruin some of the good stuff.

I also realize that i have layed this out in *possibly* the most poorly worded and convoluted way possible, however, I hope the idea gets across.

also, i think the gaming hour deal is cool, but please choose a game that my comp will run, so let me list the games my comp will run: cs 1.6. (notice the period)

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Well being the dedicated person I am and loving responsibility and helping my brothers I would like vote as well in the favor of OPTION 3! I definitely know without a doubt FNF will never die because FNF is no longer dependent as a clan, but a family and strong community. Something like that cannot just be snuffed out. But one thing we should take into consideration is that of other games as well. We have members playing CS, CSS, BF2, WoW, and im sure the list is longer and will continue to grow. So steve, buddy, bro, what ever you need just hollah and we will help yea out as best we can!
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We are all brothers here, and a sister or two. This site is the only thing that links all together and lets us maintain that family feeling. FNF will never go away and will never die. I play CS 1.6 every day still. I see some old faces pop in from time to time and its great. I play on a couple local servers with a group of "older" ladies and gents. The feel is the way we used to be. Alltalk is always on, no swearing is allowed and its generally a good time.

I still wear my Hoodie and Hat and in fact have been thinking about setting up another run of hoodies cuz mine is getting so worn.

Steve I understand the burden your possessed with and whatever you need to do to make sure we live on and clear your concience... you have our support.

 

BTW.. whats going for this years summer meet http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png

 

Berz out.

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Thanks guys, all of you.

 

Ill wait a bit longer till i drop another fat post in here with more meaty details about what i think we can do - in the meantime i just wanted to show my face so you guys dont have to wonder quite so much if im going to dissapear for a couple weeks again : )

 

And i have to say im really thankful for the sentiments and support put forth in here. I just really, really appreciate it, esp right now. I got alot going on, and it gets overwhelming.. knowing there's people out there who give a shit is beyond nice.

 

 

er, adam.. another run of hoodies ? thats one of the best things i've heard all day http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png

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pretty much everyone has said all the good sentiments, so I'm gonna keep mine short and sweet. I think we should do option 3. Something that self runs itself. And Steve, you know I can help out anytime with the website stuff, even if I aint a pro, I know how to do it.
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^^im sooo gonna take you up on that, sucka ; )

 

I will actually very likely need your SQL skills for what i have in mind.

 

(and thanks for the offer!)

 

Thanks again guys - im mentally composing 'large post, take two' right now, will drop it in here v.soon.

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just as long as the new site as some sort of forum on it that we can write on. http://www.fnfclan.com/uploads/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png I think thats important
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